I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
