dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
