Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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