so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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