there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
