Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
