how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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