So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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