I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize