my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize