Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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