I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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