I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize