I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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