At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
