oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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