Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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