Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
