I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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