Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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