when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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