very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
