you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
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these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
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HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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