I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
its liver damage thursday
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
