Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
