your room smells of hookers.
And success
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
