you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
