is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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