Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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