# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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