Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
