remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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