tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize