just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
