I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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