i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
