I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think people are normalizing furries
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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