i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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