about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she peed on how many people?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Randomize
