There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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