Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
