Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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