I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
