hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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