what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Well I just put wine in my tea
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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