a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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