last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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