i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
