im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
