I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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