i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
