i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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