I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
