chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He passed out mid-signature
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
