oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize