btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
