She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
