Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize