why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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